Doll Friends

Some people keep old dolls or stuffed animals in their closets or basements. Sometimes they are merely thrown into the closet without half a thought, or sometimes they are placed carefully into a box with handwritten labels. Sometimes they are in the closet, staring back. They are in plain sight.

Why are they in the closet ? Was it because they became boring ? It is because they are no longer socially acceptable ? Or is it perhaps because they serve as reminders of memories from the past that are unsettling ? Or was it that parents made the choice to box them away ?

I feel as if many of my old friends have boxed me away. It reminds me of classic Toy Story 2 when Woody is "shelved" because of his damages, with Andy's mother saying "Toys don't last forever." I know that friends do not necessarily last forever, either. Especially when friendships end because of conflicts over one particular large issue. Or when friendships end because one person has romantic feelings for another who does not feel the same way. Or when jealous boyfriends or girlfriends ban their partner from seeing a certain friend because they are of the opposite gender. Sometimes friends move away. Sometimes friends' parents no longer get along and do not prefer the friends to see each other. There are many many other reasons. Sometimes reasons are combined. But regardless, friends are "shelved".

I will admit that sometimes I have shelved old friends. I never contact them. Not because I dislike them, but because we have had a conflict, or because we have not talked in a very long time. I am nervous about contacting people I have not spoken to in a while. But when someone makes an effort to contact me, I respond. No matter who it is, or why they are contacting me, I respond. But the friends who have shelved me are not like that.

When I contact them, online, or by telephone.. They respond like dolls. No matter how I speak to them, or how long I speak to them, or how detailed my messages are... There is no reply.