우산 있어?

Wolf walked home at 6 AM.

When, just moments before, he had walked 29 to the subway, he handed the umbrella back to her. He told her that he wouldn't need it. After all, the rain had stopped. There were very few people waiting for the first train, but 29 and Wolf waited together, pacing from one end of Sinchon station to the other.

Wolf put his hood over his head as the rain began to pour. It was still dark outside, and what light was creeping in was mostly blocked by the stormclouds. Wolf looked down at the dirty bricks in the sidewalk as he walked on, passing a few people who had decided not to take a taxi that morning; they darted by with their umbrellas, looking only ahead at their next destination. He probably looked strange in the pouring rain without an umbrella.  Wolf thought, Maybe I should just get an umbrella at the Family Mart. It's not that expensive.

Fourteen hours before, Wolf was walking with his friends on that very street when 29 called him. When his phone rang, the rain began. It started slowly, but gradually increased until there was a roar of drops hitting the sidewalk where Wolf stepped. The street had a very different look then; it was hard to see the bricks in the walkway with all the people dashing about. The same people were so noisy that it was difficult for Wolf to understand the Korean coming through his phone's speaker. As he struggled, he walked onto a bus with his friends, so focused on 29's voice that he did not pay the bus fare. No one noticed. As they exited, Wolf motioned to his friends that he was going to duck into the cover of the subway exit in order to hear better. 29 asked Wolf to meet him at Sadang, suggesting it would be the last chance for them to see each other before Wolf travelled to Las Vegas, Atlanta, and then Stockholm before finally returning to Seoul. He agreed, and without even leaving the cover of the subway exit, went inside to board the train. "I'm meeting 29. See you tonight, maybe" was the text both of his friends received seconds later.

When he met 29 at the bookstore in Sadang, she took his arm and asked him, "우산 있어?" She had a way of speaking Korean that Wolf always understood, even if there were words he forgot or never learned. He had no memory of the word for umbrella, but when she said '우산', in her cheery, enthusiastic voice, Wolf knew at once what it meant. But he didn't have one. She took him into Sadang station's convenient store and bought a nice one for 9,000원. She refused to let Wolf pay, despite his urging.

After a night of fun that ended only when that first train came, Wolf held 29 tightly in an embrace at the subway pay station. He looked at her, but could not find words to describe how he felt. Neither in English nor Korean could he tell her that this might be the last time they see each other. Even if they texted each other nonstop while Wolf was travelling the world, their feelings would not be the same when he returned weeks later. Wolf watched her walk down the stairs, out of view. She didn't look back.

Wolf did not buy an umbrella at the convenient store. He continued walking as his pants, hood, and backpack all became soaked in the rain. 29 sent a text message to his phone, but raindrops splattered the screen, making touch-typing impossible. Wolf could not reply. "Just Like Heaven" by the Cure was playing in his earphones as he walked; somehow set to repeat. Possibly due to the rain on his screen. Perhaps Wolf accidentally set repeat earlier. Regardless of the reason, he could only pause or play this song using the external button on his earphones. He let it repeat while walking past more umbrella stands in his journey home.

Wolf was thinking about 29, but he was thinking about writing. He wanted to write all of the ideas that were in his head at that moment down. He wanted to post them to the world. But he knew that when he got home, he would be too tired to write correctly. He had been working on two pieces already that were not finished. Hell, I just have to write it this time, he concluded. He would leave his home country the next day on a flight to America that he had not packed for, but that night, he would write.

Explicit Content

If you have problems with

•Sex
•Alcohol
•Fun
•Money
•Risk

Don't read this blog.

One Year Later

One year later, zero additional blog posts.

I've written time and time again-- Sometimes for hours. Always, though, I delete everything. Every last word. I close the window, and the story goes untold.

I live a new life new, in a new country. And some stories need not go untold. I will begin to write again-- here, in this blog.

Believe the tales or don't.

Frankly, I don't care.

Life

It's like this.

There Are Bags Under Those Eyes

I wonder if anyone else sleeps as little as I do. Three to four hours per day this week on average. A few days without any.

Not True

People say, "Life has a way of working out."

I say, "The above statement is bullshit."

Okkusenman

Had to post this song.. There's so much truth in it.

I'm so old already.